A Certificate of Reed

A found paper of Sogmarsh — Reed country. Signed, disputed, and re-disputed on the same sheet.

CERTIFICATE of REED — being the honest and impartial Grading of the within Bundles, by W. RENNY, Reed-Grader, whose Impartiality is Beyond Question and Universally Doubted.

Twenty bundles, graded ROOF, cut and sorted by W. Renny. Certified the finest cut of the Long. Signed, W. Renny, Grader. (The parish notes that W. Renny is the cutter and the grader of his own reed, which it has long found suspicious and never once been able to prove.)

— scrawled beneath, three hands — "It leaked." — the buyer. "It leaked because it was laid tip-down. Butt-down, and I'd stake my grade on it." — Gaffer Renny. "It leaked because it was BASKET reed sold as ROOF, and everyone in three parishes knows it." — the buyer. "A man's grade is his word." — W. Renny. "Then his word's a wet loft." — the buyer.