A PAMPHLET OF THE CHURCH OF THE BLESSED LOAF

Found paper — pressed, faintly floury, pushed under every door in the parish on the same night.

✷ HAS YOUR SOUL RISEN? ✷ A friendly enquiry from the Church of the Blessed Loaf

THREE SIGNS YOUR SOUL IS PROVING:

1. A feeling of warmth in a cold room, for which nobody nearby will take credit.
2. A reluctance to be punched down by circumstance, landlords, or weather.
3. A pleasing smell about the person, as of good intentions baking.

THREE SIGNS YOUR SOUL HAS BEEN LEFT OUT OVERNIGHT:

1. A certain crust.
2. A heaviness upon rising.
3. You have begun to agree with the Pennyworths.

TITHE SCHEDULE: one part flour in ten, payable at the door; the Church regrets it cannot make change, as change is made only in the soul.

ENQUIRE WITHIN regarding COMPOUND GRACE, whereby the merits of the devout are rolled together into a single Greater Loaf, from which all may be sliced according to need. Persons rolled in may not be rolled out; see a Loafwarden for terms.

SMALL PRINT, VERY SMALL INDEED: Terms may rise without notice. The Church accepts no liability for souls that collapse in a draught. In the event of doubt, stand somewhere warm and wait; this is also the entirety of the liturgy.