A COLLECTION SLIP OF THE SOG & DISTRICT REAPING AUTHORITY

Found paper — pink, pre-printed, water-stained, delivered (witnesses agree) by a damp moth.

SOG & DISTRICT REAPING AUTHORITY "Serving the Departed Since Before Records"

FORM 1 (REVISED) (UNREVISED) — NOTICE OF COLLECTION

TO: THE SOUL AT ............... (if illegible, you)

REGRET TO INFORM STOP COLLECTION SCHEDULED TUESDAY STOP PLEASE BE PACKED AND GROUND-FLOOR STOP

ITEMS PERMITTED: one (1) small bundle, tied with string. Regrets carry a surcharge. ITEMS NOT PERMITTED: potatoes (audited separately), grudges above the household allowance, the good bucket.

ON THE REVERSE, IN SMALLER PRINT:

Q: I appear to still be alive. A: Please retain this slip. It remains valid.

Q: The moped has not arrived. A: The moped is en route. The moped has been en route since it was issued. Your patience is appreciated and, in the fullness of time, collected.

Q: May I appeal? A: Appeals are heard on Saint Tarry's Day, by a panel that is just about to sit.

The Authority apologises for any inconvenience caused by the cessation of your existence, and reminds the public that being deceased does not exempt a household from the September count.